Freewriting.....

Tick. tock... it is already 7:30... still feeling sicky, but better, love Dancing With the Stars, my cat is so cute, she is running back and forth like a crazy kitty. Need to Spring clean, have to get rid of some clutter. Jesus likes us to be giving, so my plan is to sort stuff that I can give away, and find other people to enjoy some of my stuff. This is freewriting, like my teacher from Highschool told us to do. Let your mind wander she said, write whatever comes to mind, and let it flow on paper. This is supposed to stir creativity, and free the "inner writer" I wonder if Danielle Steele ever did this? MMMMM,mmmmm.... so so, well what should I write? No don't plan, just let it flow... oh yeah I forgot, no sequence to what I am writing, just what comes to mind, trying to unlock some genius idea... I think... wow what would it be like to really write a book, and have it published? I would love, love to write a childrens book, why don't I? Well uhh because I am not that good... sheesh, laundry... I need to do laundry... everything got away from me this past weekend, we were sick... so sick we were glued to our beds.. boo hoo, but now I am feeling back to my old self, got lots of work to do at home, lots of work to catch up on at work... and here I sit, click, click, typing... not making any sense, but that is the fun of free-writing, yes I am free to blubber away, and away... Ty murray is doing better on Dancing With the Stars.... okay tv interfering with my free writing, interruption in my creativity exercise, rain, cold, it is Spring, and it is cold, brrr had to wear a sweater today, how exciting the warmer weather is around the corner, and thirty is around the corner, actually it is a hop skip and a jump away... my twenties are diminsihing... I am soon to enter a new age ..the thirties... wow, realization that age happens, no more the youngest of the young, still I am loving my life, good friends, good family, all around so Blessed is how I would describe me. I am a lucky one, yes I am. Maybe, maybe I should end my freewriting right here. Although anything I wrote above really isn't anything to shout about, yet it was fun, fine, dandy, great especially when I didn't have anything in particular to blog about, so there how about that gibberish... Sayonara!

Sick

All winter I was ecstatic because I hadn't gotten sick like years past. I gave credit to the flu shot that I got for the first time. It is the end of March, and almost my birthday, and I am sick. Yesterday my throat had an itch that wouldn't go away, and by the end of the night my throat was raw, my ears were burning, and my head ached. And the dizziness greeted me as I opened my eyes this morning. I knew that I couldn't make it in to work today... no way. I feel like crap. So I called in, and now I am sitting at home feeling sorry for myself, wanting to cry, feeling achey, and hungry. Boo Hoo.... I am a little nervous that I may get an earache... those hurt so much.

So in a little while I am going to make my green chile stew that always comforts me. I hope I feel better. Like I said before BOO HOO!!

Just Thinking...

The other night I made tacos for two wonderful guys... I made tacos, they ate, they liked, then they cleaned up the kitchen.. and then they glued themselves to the tv to play a video game. I love them both. One was my husband, the other my brother-in-law Casey.

I also talked on the phone with my cousin Donovan, who was on cloud 9 because he has a newborn son. He told me about the challenge of having a baby crying at all hours, but also expressed the blessing, and miracle of his son. He expressed his pride in watching his wife be a mother. It was sweet, it made me sappy.

It got me thinking, that in my house that night there was little responsibility... two guys were downstairs playing video games, I was upstairs messing around on my laptop... we were doing whatever we wanted... and had no little baby to change our lives.

It is funny how some things in life you can't really know, until you experience it for yourself. You can hear friends tell you what it is like to be married, but until you have taken those vows... you will never know. Now I can say I know what it is like to be married. We are going on 4 years this April, and in all honesty I love being married. I am married to my best friend. There are times when it gets tough, when you wonder where the heck your last fight came from, but at the end of the day the love I have with my husband is a blessing.

So what will having a baby be like? Will we blessed to have a baby? What will we have a girl or a boy? It is scary to think of being responsible for an innocent child. Being pregnant is something I really can't imagine. It seems as though all expecting women I come across, have everything figured out... it truly is amazing. I can hear all the stories about what it is like to carry a child, to finally give birth, and then to mother. But I will never know what it is really like until I have experienced it myself.

I have had countless people tell me that when you have a child there is an instant feeling of unconditional love. I also had someone tell me onetime that her husband said that when their baby was born, she was going to love the baby more then him. She laughed at him, and told him that was silly. Then her baby was born, and when she told me the story, she whispered, and said... " but I do" I don't really imagine that you would love your child more, but just different.

Time will only tell what I will end up really knowing about motherhood. But from what I hear its love, laughs, worry, concern, stress, consuming, hard, rewarding, challenging, life-changing, remarkable, like nothing else... all rolled up in one. Whew.

Hairy Delight

Today I got a haircut... and it made me feel fabulous. I have gone to the same gal for a while, and though I love her sweetness...she just wasn't cutting it. Literally. I would say the last 2 times I've gone to her, she just didn't do anything for me. I mean no one could even tell that I got my hair cut.

Every time I see my cousin Lenore (wish I had a picture of her) I would say to myself.... "wow, her hair looks great." So the other day, while feeling sorry for myself, because my skin is breaking out lately, I am almost 30, and my hair was looking fried.... I perked up and asked Lenore if she could tell me where, and who cuts her hair. She let me in on her stylist, I called, got an appointment, and Poof today is Saturday... and I got myself a haircut... and I like it. I feel better about myself.. and I am definitely going back to this lady. What do you think?




Then I was bummed, because the plan after I got my haircut was to go and visit precious newborn Liam. Well Cory awoke this morning with pain in his back, as he frequently does, and thought that it would be a good day to get a massage, using his gift certificate from lil ol me. He got an appointment in the afternoon, making it too late to go and visit Liam :(... so we will try again tomorrow.

As for the massage experience let me tell you about it... So originally it was all about Cory, and then since Massage Envy had another spot open, I got a massage too. It was with a male... and a little weird. I couldn't help but feel like I was doing something wrong, letting a stranger who happened to be a guy massage me, when only my husband has been the one to massage or touch me. I could tell that the guy massaging me, knew that I was a little nervous, because he kept telling me to "relax, just relax...." He was totally professional, but still I felt uncomfortable. I finally was able to relax, but next massage I think I will ask for a female.

Baby Love...

My dear cousins Donovan & Kiera welcomed their first born, a son on March 7th at 10:15 am. Liam Donovan Lucero weighed in at 8lbs 3.5oz, 22 in. long. And he is absoulutley adorable. Seriously. I was so excited to see him! Please pray for these two new parents as they make the transition into parent hood. I know they are going to do great.






Kiera... I found this quote and instantly thought of you:

Getting a burp out of your little guy is probably the greatest satisfaction I've come across. It's truly one of life's most satisfying moments.
Brad Pitt

And on a more serious note:

Making the decision to have a child - it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body.
Elizabeth Stone

May your heart have protection of Jesus always!!

God Is an Awesome God

The world is very scary... if you don't have God. I turn on the news and almost everything I hear is bad. Our economy is in a crisis, murders are happening all over the world, and people are living their lives as if they have no one to answer to. Watching it all is our creator, God, and I wonder how he does it. How does he handle the rejection over and over from the people he created?

It blows my mind when I hear that people don't believe in God. He is all around. He is in the faces of babies, and children. He is in the nature around us... He was the true hero that kept that plane a float on the Hudson river.... yet he seldom gets the credit. People say a man's religion his is own business... maybe so, but someday if that person chooses to ignore God, the time will come when he will face him in Death, and it will be too late. Every kind thing that we as people could ever do all comes from that love that God programmed us with. He is the giver of life, of love, of hope.Unfortunately we all are sinners, and fall short every single day, but when you have God in your life he is always reminding you in your ear that he is there, that he is in control. He is forgiving,and his promises are new every day. The little voice in your head that tells you when you are doing something wrong, science may call it the conscience, but it is the Holy spirit that God instilled in us. It is God guiding us to make good decisions. It bothers me so bad when I hear people call Christian's "Holy Roller" Then I think back to when Jesus was beaten, and tortured as he carried the cross that he would be nailed to... all by people who mocked him, and didn't believe. Still today Christians are mocked for loving, and believing in God, when all we want is to lead all of our loved ones to Christ... because this world is surely temporary.

Christians are human and the biggest misconception is that Christians think they are perfect. This couldn't be farther from the truth. A true Christian knows 100% that they are a sinner, that they are imperfect, and they know that they need God to pick them up when they fail, and fall, because without him life is truly a mess. I so want to become a better Bible reader... I want to know the stories, so that I can better defend God when I find myself in a heated discussion about "religion." It is so important to read the Bible. A friend from Church once told me the Bible is like the owners manual for your life... how true that is.

Sometimes I think about dying, and it is scary, but my faith comes in because I know that I have asked Jesus to come into my heart, I know that he knows my desire is to be what he wants me to be, so I rest in knowing that he is in control with me. If I didn't have God I would truly be petrified. The minute we are born we are dying, for the days go by faster,and faster.

Mark Chapter 8 verse 38 it reads " For whoever is ashamed of Me and my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, of him the Son of Man also will be ashamed when He comes in the glory of His Father with the holy angels."

Revelation reads on 22 12-14 "And behold, I am coming quickly, and My reward is with Me, to give to everyone according to his work. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End, the First and the Last. Blessed are those who do His commandments, that they may have the right to the tree of life, and may enter through the gates into the city. But outside are dogs and sorcerers and sexually immoral and murderers and idolaters, and whoever loves and practices a lie."

God is watching, He is coming like a thief in the night. He will rescue all who choose him from the darkness, and fear of this world. I am not ashamed of loving him, or believing. If anything I am ashamed of my faults in his eyes... but I am working on it. My prayer often is "God, I know I am not worthy of your sacrifice, I know I fall short of your glory, but the one thing I don't want to fail at in this life is getting to you, so please help me get to you, guide me." And I know he hears me, and I know he is with me... just as he is with anyone who calls for him.

Jog...Take II

I went for another jog today. This time I found a leash, and I took Ebony. It hurt a little to see Cooter look at me with sad eyes that seemed to say "but what about me?"
He made me feel like a bad adoptive mother. So I thought to myself that I would go around the block once with Ebony, then drop her off, and pick up Cooter, and have another go at it. That way I'd have two happy dogs, instead of one.

The weather today was not as beautiful as yesterday. The sky was grey, and there was a breeze in the air. It seemed to be threatening rain, which I would have gladly welcomed, we desperately need it. So it was Ebony and I rounding the block. She wanted to stop at every rock along the way to sniff, and investigate... I had to yank her everyonce in a while to get her back on track. Still I was proud of her as I thought back to just a year ago when she was walking/running me instead of vice versa. We actually ran well together, and I could tell she was slowing down just as we were almost back home.

I dropped Ebony off, where Cooter ran up to give her the 'ol sniff over, as to say "where you been, huh huh." She ignored him as she made her way to her water bowl where she noisly slurped.

I latched the leash on to Cooter's collar, and off we went. I started to jog, and could feel that I was tired from the first run, and my legs were feeling sore. I decided to jog half the way with Cooter, and walk the rest back for a cool down. Cooter seemed less excited then Ebony, but deep down I know he was very pleased to be taken out. He enjoys the one on one attention. As we slowed down to a walking pace, I petted him, and rubbed his ears, he gave me a growl of affection, and looked like he wanted me to take him down for a hug.

When we arrived back at the house, I let him out to join Ebony. She returned the sniffing gesture. They both looked at me like happy dogs, and it made me feel good that I exercised them.

I made Salmon for dinner. I had a little left, so I opened the back door and broke off a couple flakes and offered them to Ebony and Cooter. They looked at me with such love..... and today I was the coolest dog mom. Score.

Went For A Jog

Today I went for a jog after work. The day was so beautiful, and I couldn't help but try to steal some of it before the sun went down. I thought about taking the dogs with me, but was worried about taking both of them. Ebony is too fast, and Cooter is too slow. Just when I decided to take the chance, I couldn't find the leashes.. so I went alone. Sorry dogs... maybe next time.

As my feet hit the pavement my mind began to wander. I thought about how good it felt to get some exercise, and how nice it was to be outside. When I was little I used to be outside all the time. Playing basketball, playing tag, doing cartwheels up and down the street, just running around. Now as I have gotten to be an adult I don't often go outside... and it's a shame.

I feel that I am just noticing all the beautiful things in life more. God is so amazing in the life that is around us. I saw children playing at the park on my run around the neighborhood. They were laughing so carefree, so innocent. If they only knew that soon their childhood will become adulthood. When you're little you don't think you will ever be older, and then one day if you're like me you realize that you wish you could remember more what it felt like to be a kid.

All that from an afternoon jog... I really enjoyed it.