Grandma.. I'm thinking of you

Today the sky is grey
I think about you grandma, so far away
Remember you laughing, remember you loving
When you died, I could never picture me recovering

It has been some time since you passed
Yet everyday I think of you, and when I saw you last
When your eyes closed away from this place
And my tears fell softly on your face

You were one person who thought I had hung the moon
You were gone too soon
I lost my biggest fan
How I wish I could still hold your hand

I used to pray that God would take you when he took me
That was selfish, I know... but that is how I wanted it to be
So I wouldn't know how it is to live without you
I really had no clue

Grandma I loved you then, and love you now with all my heart
And I really hate being apart
But I know that I have the best of what you gave
Your love is blooming inside me, and helps me to be brave

Thank you Grandma
I will forever think of you with awe
Until we meet again someday
In that glorious skyway

The Truth...

The truth is we want a baby. The truth is that we have been trying for a while. The truth is that we finally went to see a fertility specialist to see if there is any particular reason for not conceiving. The truth is that Cory is a rockstar, and you should have seen his smile. The truth is that everything with me is fine, and I have a pretty big smile too. The only minor problem is an elevated prolactin level, which I am taking medication for. The truth is that just because we want a baby, doesn't mean we can have one on our terms. The truth is that God has always been in control. The truth is that after I heard that everything is fine with us, I already knew. The truth is I already knew because God has been speaking to my heart. The truth is I feel bad that I have doubted. The truth is that a child will come into our lives when it is God's time. The truth is I am tired of worrying. The truth is that writing about these feelings feels good. I woke up this morning renewed in my thoughts. I am happy, blessed, and grateful for my life... and that is the honest truth!

Little Cousin Going to the Chapel..

**Dawnelle & Her Nephew Liam**

My little cousin Dawnelle, who I affectionately know as "Nellie Bee" is getting married on Saturday. Because I didn't have brothers and sisters of my own, I always embraced my cousins, and in my heart they are my siblings. Dawnelle was always my pal growing up. She was quiet, a little shy, but always sweet, and so funny. She is 28 now, and I am 30. I have fond childhood memories, and so many of them include Nellie Bee. We slept at eachother's houses all the time, we ran back and forth from my grandma's house, to our aunt Lucy's and back to her house all summer long. We ate Popsicles on her front step, we played house, we played games, we fought, we climbed trees, we did cartwheels, and we laughed, and had fun. When you are young like that, it doesn't seem like you have to cherish the moments, because it seems as if it will be like that forever. Then you grow up, and take different paths, and things eventually change. I have the best memories of our youth together, and for that I am happy. I wish we saw one another more, but I know that Dawnelle loves me, and I love her. I am in her wedding, and I am really looking forward to it. It will be so fun to see my family that I haven't seen in a while, to dance, and celebrate! She will be a beautiful bride.. that "little" cousin of mine.

Could I Quit My Day Job?

Sometimes I sit and think about what I really love to do. How fun it would be to be able to have a job doing something that you love. I love to write stories, draw, doodle, and do most artsy stuff. I love painting nails, combing hair, and makeup. I would love to have a card shop, where I designed greeting cards, and wrote uplifting messages, or cute thank you cards, I love you cards, and so on. Or it would be so great to be able to write a children's book. Growing up my nose was always stuck in a book by Judy Blume, or Beverly Cleary. I loved books like Iggie's House, Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing, Ramona the Pest, or Sheila the Great. My imagination was always going full force when I would read those books. I remember always thinking how I would love to write a book for young readers.

I admire people who follow their dreams, and do something they love. I have a job that provides security, my job is not difficult, and I am thankful for it. Still, sometimes I think that it would be so wonderful to have a job that my heart loves.

Maybe I am just bored... but I seriously feel like I need to do something different in my life. I feel like I am neglecting a part of my soul. There is an emptiness, and I am not quite sure how to fill it. I feel restless. Maybe it is that time seems to be moving so fast. Maybe it is wondering if we will have a baby, and maybe it is just that these feelings are a part of growing, and the process of getting older. Whatever it is, it is something.

Me, and Him...

A friend sent me this little ditty, and I thought it would be fun to fill it out. Since my "blog" is in need of some new reading material, I thought I'd post it here. This is about me and my babe. I love that guy...

1. Who is your man?
Cory Austin Dupuy

2. How long have you been together?
December 1999 to Present

3. Dating/Engaged/Married?
Dated, Got Engaged FIVE years later.. it took forever :) and then married on April, 9th-2005

4. How old is your man?
30

1. Who eats more?
Him in one sitting... but me, I snack a lot in between meals.. so sometimes I think it is me

2. Who said "I love you" first?
We were sitting on the couch at my mom's, and he was making me laugh, and I said "I lo.." Then I got embaressed and caught myself, and he said "What?...you love me?? is that what you were going to say.. I love you too." So he always teases me that I said it first... but I almost did, and he really said it... either way the best thing is that we both meant it!

3. Who weighs more?
Him. And I love every pound.

4. Who sings better?
Um, neither... we both are bad singers.. in church sometimes we start chuckling, because we realize that we are both way off key...

5. Who's Older?
Him by 13 days

6. Who's smarter?
Math and Logic: Him
English and Reading: Me

7. Who's temper is worse?
I used to think mine.. but I must have taught him how to express his feelings, because he has gotten pretty good at letting me know when he is mad. ;0)

8. Who does the laundry?
Me. He has shrunk one to many of my shirts... but he will help me fold.

9. Who does the dishes?
He helps me with the dishes a lot. Growing up I never had a dishwasher, so I hate loading... so he pretty much he is in charge of that.

10. Who sleeps on the right side of the bed?
He does

11. Who's feet are bigger?
His, thankfully!

2. Who's hair is longer?
Mine. His hair ditched him around 2005. ;)


13. Who's better with the computer?
About the same, except he is really good at Excel.


14. Who pays the bills?
Him.. he is very organized with our finances.

15. Who cooks dinner?
Me.

17. Who drives when you are together?
Him.

18. Who pays when you go out to dinner?
Mostly him

19. Who's the most stubborn?
Him... I am stubborn, but he is extremly stubborn.


20. Who is the first one to admit when they're wrong?
Me, I hate to stay mad, so I make him forgive me. He said that he can't stay mad at me, and I think that is a good thing!

21. Who's parents do you see more?
His, because we go to the same church every Sunday.

22. Who kissed who first?
He asked me if he could kiss me after we watched a movie. I said yes... and have never kissed anyone else since!

23. Who asked who out?
We met at a 70's disco party. He got my digits. He called me 4 times at home, and never got a hold of me. My mom told me you should always let a boy call you, so I just figured he'd call again. He called me at my work, and finally reached me, and asked if I wanted to go on a date. I said yes. He said that was the last time he was going to try to call me, because he thought I didn't like him.

24. What did you do?
We went to the Scorpions hockey game... he bought popcorn, and cokes, and I was so nervous, I didn't eat any. I just knew that he was special.

25. Who's more sensitive?
Me, for sure. I cry for everything.. I could count the times I have seen him cry.

26. Who's taller?
Him

27. Who is more indecisive?
Me, I can never decide anything... drives him nuts

28. Who has more siblings?
Him: 1 Brother
Me: None

29. Who wears the pants in the relationship?
Him on most things... he is such a brat..

30. Who has the best husband ever?
Me, ofcourse! I really am so lucky to have such a good husband. He really does have a heart of gold, and I love him so much!!