The Years Turn Into Wrinkles

I think I am at the age where I realize that I am getting older. Now don't get me wrong I know that I am still very young. Though this is true, I think about how much life I have already lived. It seems as though I was just tasting the feeling of freedom in my young life at the age of 19... being able to choose how late I stayed out, where I chose to go. I had my whole life ahead of me. A blank canvas, a book filled with empty pages waiting for me to write my story.

I have had my first love, the guy that made my world turn, and then had my first heartbreak, that came with the feeling that life would never be the same, and that lump in your throat that felt like it would never go away, or your heart will never feel anything but pain.

I felt what it was like to have a bestfriend, and go shopping together, and talk about boys, and and how they were ruining our lives, and how we couldn't wait to find the right one.




I have had loved ones die, and have had to feel the unbelievable helplessness that comes along with losing someone you love so very much. I have had to have the feeling of wishing so bad that I could bring my two young cousins back so that our family didn't have to live without them.

I have lost my grandma, and that has been one of the hardest things I have had to deal with. There are no words to express the emptiness I feel without her here in my life. Yet, I know and believe that she is in Glory with Jesus, and that brings me peace.

I discovered a love for cats, and felt the heartbreak of losing a pet.

I have been close to my mom my whole life, have had the usual mother daugther conflicts and have always come to find that there is no one like my mom. She has never failed to be there for me when I need her. She has always been a constant support for me. It was always me and my mom. She always put me first, and she loves me so much.



I have had to know what it feels like to live life without a father, to feel the rejection that comes with that, and to wonder if my weaknesses would be strengths if I would have had an active father.

I have come to realize that true friends are hard to come by.






I met and married my true love, and realized how lucky I am that my first love broke my heart, because I would never have known real love if I hadn't had the chance to meet Cory.



I have discovered the love of Jesus, and know that having a relationship with him is the best and absolute most important thing that I will ever do in my lifetime here.

I could go on and on about all the things that I have experienced in my 29 years. There are so many memories that I can look back on.

So though it seems that I am still very young, time is flying, and I am still trying to figure out how to savor the moments, how to hang on to the things that are beautiful in my life.

Change is all around us, it is what makes the world go round. We would not be living without it.

So as long as God grants me life here on this earth, I will age. I hope to be the kind of person that ages gracefully. Yet, I must admit I have a sense of panic that arises every once in a while when I think about getting older. I panic because I stop to worry that I am not taking advantage of my youth. I hope to do the things
that I want.

My canvas is not blank anymore, it has color, it has mistakes, it has beauty, and flaws. I am a work in progress.